Clawjob, ever-obsessed with greasing the wheels of commerce, has announced the opening of a slick, new online store! To celebrate, and to push their holiday season sales numbers to record highs, the band has also authorized a winter sale on all t-shirts and a new, lower price on Space Crackers, the brilliant science fiction rock opera.

"Anything we can do to help people help us upgrade our yachts—we think that's a worthy cause," says band member Nick Burgess, sipping elephant tusk tea next to Clawjob's C-shaped, carbonated swimming pool. "The holiday season is a time for buying, and Mike and I are big believers in the power of a strong fourth quarter."

In a written statement, band member Mike Gintz says, "We have signed off on a number of contracts to bring exciting, new products to our online retail space, including pins, throwing stars, and a fashionable t-shirt featuring our lovable corporate icon, Clawdius."

The winter sale on t-shirts will only be active for a limited time, so order as many t-shirts as you can as soon as possible! Explore the vast expanses of Clawjob's new online store right now by clicking here!

*Note to Clawjob fans outside the USA: Celebrate the weak dollar by buying tons of cheap Clawjob merchandise! God bless America!



POSTED BY CLAWJOB, 04:06 PM EST 00000085